Lost
by princessvampire
Summary: I've never written in this section before, but please R/R!! This is just a Caitlin story about her coming to the Lowes, meeting bandit and eventually finding herself...
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Hey, this is my first ever fanfic in this category, so don't be tooooooooo hard on me ^_^ I've only seen the show a couple of times, but I just wanted to give it a shot, so please review!! This when the Lowe's take Caitlin in for the first time. I have no idea how it happened so I'm making all of this up.  
  
Chapter 1: What???  
  
"Hey Griffin, mind coming over here for a sec?" Dori was leaning against the kitchen counter, holding the knife she'd been using a few seconds ago. Jim, her husband, and Dori herself had tried to avoid the conversation, but now it had to be said.  
  
"Griffin honey, why don't you come over here." "Mom, don't call me 'honey'," the boy sighed while dropping into a chair. "So, what do you guys wanna tell me?" "Well," Dori looked over at her husband who got the hint and took over. "Remember you're cousin, Caitlin?" Griffin nodded his head, remembering the small girl starring up at him on his fifth birthday party. "Well, she's going to come live with us. She's coming tomorrow. I know Griffin, it's a bit soon but it'll be like you have a sister." Griffin starred up at his parents in disbelieve. "What??? A sister! I don't even want a sister, especially not Caitlin, she's a freak!" Griffin go up and ran to his room, slamming the door as he went. Dori and Jim dropped onto the couch. "Well, that went well."  
  
A tear slowly rolled down my cheek, but I quickly managed to not let it show, and told myself to stop crying. I've become good at this, shutting my feelings out I mean. I guess you get though from living on the street. I don't really know how Dori and Jim told Griffin, but this is how I imagine they would have told him. They sound like the perfect little family and they won't want me so I have absolutely no idea why I'm going over there. Well, the car's pulling up and I'm here. I'm here, but hey, that doesn't mean I have to stay.  
  
"Caitlin!!" Dori practically hugged me to bits. I stiffen and pulled away. Can't she see I hate to be touched? Jim got the point, he just shook my hand and welcomed me. Griffin doesn't seem too bad. I guess. At least he didn't talk to me, so that's one less thing to worry about. Thank god.  
  
"So Caitlin, I'm so happy you're here. I'll show you around ok, and then we'll go up to see your room and." blah blah blah. Does this woman EVER shut up? I guess not because she's still going. The house is ok. I guess, it's warm and all. But I don't want to be here. "caitlin, this is your room." It's pretty nice, I finally have my own room, and some privacy. But that doesn't mean I'm going to act nice. "I leave you to get settled in, and if you need anything just call me." "Whatever." I slammed the door, finally I'm by myself. I just drop my bag on the floor, there's no point in putting away my stuff because I'm not staying.  
  
Then why do I have to keep repeating that to myself? Exhausted and empty I let myself fall onto the bed. Tomorrow will be another day, whatever it may bring.  
  
I have to admit I slept really well for the first time in ages, I didn't even have a nightmare. Feeling peaceful I get out of bed and head towards the bathroom. My own bathroom. It's amazing, Dori even bought me some shampoo and soap. Locking the door behind me I collapse onto the floor. I was about to give in to my true feelings when I walked into this bathroom. The feeling of peace, the feeling of wanting and longing. The weak feeling. A feeling I can't have because I have to be strong. All I have is myself so I need to stay strong.  
  
I get up and look in the mirror. What I see is me, nothing more than a plain girl with brownish hair and blue eyes (A/N: I have no idea how she looks exactly, don't kill me!!). I decide to take a shower and then get down to the makeup. I love putting on makeup, it provides me with a mask. The dark black eyeliner and I shadow I use sometimes scares people off. Just the way I like it: all alone.  
  
After getting dressed I step into the kitchen. Dori's in there makingbreakfast. It smells really good, but I'm not gonna tell her that. "Good morning Caitlin, did you sleep ok?" Dori asks me this while looking me up and down. She takes in the whole picture, my baggy jeans and ripped t- shirt combined with the black eyes and piercings. I have several piercings, four holes in one ear, five in the other, a bellybutton which noone's ever seen, and one in my eyebrow (A/N: these are all made up). I guess she doesn't like what she sees. Well, that's her problem, not mine. She decided I should come over and I never said I wanted to. I hate all of this, I hate them, I hate this place and maybe I even hate myself. It's all messed up, but ive learned to live with it.  
  
Have I?  
  
A/N: if anyone reads this, review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. chapter 2

A/N: Hey everyone!! Sorry, I had a really bad case of writers block, but here's another chapter, tell me what you think!  
  
Lost  
  
Chapter 2: Forever  
  
As the light faded behind the mountains the tears streamed down my face. "Caitlin! Are you comign down for dinner tonight?" Dori called up at me form down stairs. She did have every right to ask, since she's been making the most wonderful dinners ever, and I haven't had one of them since I came. I came downstairs the first morning, and after that akward moment of doubt I went back up and locked myself in. Things are too quite hear, I can atually think and have time for myself. But that's not what I want. Footsteps, someones coming up here.  
  
"Caitlin, look, I know you're not feeling all to well but. I really want you to eat something, I'm worried about you." Dori was standing outside my bedroom. It's a miracle she didn't just come in. and worried, why would she be worried about me? "I don't want to eat." I sound like a little kid, but at least now they'll hate me enough to send me back. "ok," Dori sighed. "Please come down later then, Jim and I have something for you." I hate to admit but I'm tempted. I have absolutely nothing to do, and I'm actually pretty hungry right now.  
  
So I went down. "Hey Caitlin." Jim laughed up at me. I'm not sure if it was a friendly or annoyed smile. What if they were going to give me a ticket back home. That would be good, wouldn't it. But fear seemed to break my heart, I didn't want to leave, not really, not desperately. So I jumped up and left the table. "I'm going for a walk." Surprised looks, unavoidable and all around. As expected if you've been locking yourself in your rooom for a week I guess. "Caitlin, it's dark out and." But Jim looked at her and she shut up. Maybe this guy wasn't as bad as I thought he was.  
  
Yeah, it was dark, and cold, but it was also really good to breeathe some fresh air, to feel free and totally empty for a moment. I heard a snort and some soft blowing right by my side. Jumping up in fear I realizes that I'd wondered far away from the house but I could still see the warm glow from the kitchen. There they were, enjoying their dinner and eachother's company. I don't think I'm needed here, and they don't want me because they're sending me back. The blowing continued, what was next to me. I felt around a bit and realized that I'd stumbled into a sort of paddock. What was this snorting? Maybe I shouldn't find out, it might be dangerous. My fears were confirmed when Dori wondered over. "Caitlin, is that you in there?" "Yeah," I managed to stutter. "Get out of there, right now. It's not safe" I could here in her voice that she was serious and I did what she told me to do. For the first time in my life I followed orders, and it was actually a relieve as well.  
  
"Good, you found her." Jim held the door open as we walked in. "Caitling, you're freezing, eventhough it's summer it still gets chilly at night. Why don't you put on a sweater and come back down, we need to talk." "Ok," I muttered. I really don't want to discuss my behaviour or the fact that they're sending me away. But I owe it to them, they kept me warm and safe for a week. I might as well hear them out.  
  
"That's better isn't it, at least you're warm now." Dori guided me towards a couch and sat me down. She sat herself next to Jim and across from me. The typical 'we need to talk to you and it's not going to be good' format. So I braced myself for the bad news. Jim started off, "Cait, you've been here for a week now and we've noticed that you're not very happy here. So." But I couldn't let him finish. "I'm sorry, send me away then, just do it, don't give me the long speeches or explkanations, I don't want to hear it because it's all bullshit anyway. You say that you liked having me, and you'll say that you're sorry. But what the hell does that do for me, I'll be back on the streets and I'll be back on m,y own again, with noone who gives a shit and noone who loves me for me. And that's ok because I like it that way, and it's all good because I'm used to it, right. Isn't that what you say, 'Caitlin's not happy here, so we'll send her away.' when the real reason that you're sending me away is because you all hate me and because it's easier to live without me." Tears were streaming down my cheeks but it didn't matter, I would never see them again anyway. I jumped up and tried to get away when Jim's voice echoed in my ears . "Sit down!" Which I did. I will never know exactly why I did, but I just sat back down. "Ok, so that's how you feel," he said strenly but a smile was playing in the corners of his mouth. "The only problem is that that's not how we feel, not how we feel at all. On the contrary, We were just going to give you this," handing me an envelope, "and tel you that we'll take you into town tomorrow to make sure you've got some thjings to start school with in three weeks." I starred up at them in amazement, "you're not sending me away?" It all became too much for Dori now too because she leaned over and hugged me. "Oh sweety, whh would we do that? Though would feel a lot better if you came down and ate something, I'm beginning to doubt my cooking skills." It was weird, for one moment I had felt that my whole life was lost, the nexty I felt that I was starting all over again. I had even kindof liked the hug, and I knew that I would be coming down to eat tomorrow. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all. And maybe I could try and make an effort as well.  
  
A/N: this is a really bad chapter, sorry!! Please review though, and I'll write more. 


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